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Gabrielle Taylor

Home: Kailua Beach

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Home: Kailua Beach

This November, MHT is participating in the Miry’s List Friendsgiving Fundraising Drive. The money goes to programs that support refugee families that have been resettled in the United States. In tandem with these efforts, our clinicians are writing posts reflecting on what home means to them.

One of the most frequented places of my childhood and one of my favorite places in the world is to be sitting on the sand staring out at the ocean on Kailua Beach on the island of Oahu. With the trade winds blowing and the steady force of the movement of the Pacific Ocean while sitting on an island that is a bit Eden-like, I experience a sense of knowingness and consolidation. On a concrete level, I am home -- this is the town I grew up in, so it is no surprise I would feel this feeling of being at home when I visit. On a more symbolic level, this external landscape resonates with the dynamic terrain of my internal world as I have come to know it -- the magnitude, the depths, and the beauty. Because of the places I have been able to go inside myself, with the help of my own psychotherapy and psychoanalysis in robust relationships, I have found more solid, peaceful places to stand inside myself, regardless of where I am. This is what home means to me – an at-one-ness or at-home-ness with myself.

These foreign places did not feel so foreign to me, which I think has been a direct result of getting to know the foreign, unknown parts of myself. I have felt more at home in the world because I have felt more at home in myself.
Dr. Gabrielle Taylor.jpg

As I have gotten older, I discovered that I could feel connected to myself, wherever I was on the planet, regardless of differences in ethnicity and language, culture and religious traditions. I have traveled to many places around the world, all over the US during different seasons – harsh New England winters and unforgiving heat in desert Summers. I’ve walked amidst the beauty of the dramatic edges of Western Ireland and through the rolling hills that surround quaint towns in Southern Spain, to name a few. In all of my travels, I have learned that I could easily fall in love with the beauty of the natural world and ancient history of our human experience, in all its unique expression, and still feel at home. These foreign places did not feel so foreign to me, which I think has been a direct result of getting to know the foreign, unknown parts of myself. I have felt more at home in the world because I have felt more at home in myself. Through my own growth and development, which has truly been a pursuit of my own sense of feeling whole, I have grown sturdier and more at peace in my own mind and heart. This has made risking my vulnerability in relationship a truly meaningful encounter, offering me a sense of love and connection to all of life.


HERE'S HOW YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN FRIENDSGIVING WITH US:

Give! Visit our Miry’s List campaign page and make a donation. It's that simple and no sum is too small. Truly.

Follow! Be sure to follow us on Instagram and our blog throughout the month of November. We will be reflecting on what it means to be welcomed, received, and known.

Share!  Help us spread the word. You can do this by sharing our social media posts or links to our Miry’s List Friendsgiving Fundraiser page.

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A little about Miry’s List:
Refugee families come to the United States seeking a safe haven from violence and persecution in their home countries. They leave behind family and friends, as well as virtually everything they own. Many Americans, seeing these families in their communities, wonder: What can I do to help? Miry's List provides a mechanism for people to directly help new arrival refugee families with the things that they need to get started in their new lives – from diapers to beds to cleaning supplies and toiletries. To learn more, visit miryslist.org.


Dr. Gabrielle Taylor is a licensed clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst who serves as Clinical Director at Michelle Harwell Therapy.

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Women are Fecund

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Women are Fecund

We are meant to give birth to love.
Dr. Gabrielle Taylor.jpg

Fecund. Such a fun word. Fecund. See, what I mean? It’s so fun to say. And, then, when you look up the definition, because you do have to look it up, (how else would I have known what it means??), it’s so deeply meaningful. “Capable of producing offspring, fruit, vegetation, etc. in abundance: prolific: fruitful. Very productive or creative intellectually.” A powerful combination - a word that contains the joy of playfulness and depth of meaning - and what it’s like to work at MHT. I came on board as Clinical Director with this group of wonderful women about six months ago and my time has been just that, joyful and deeply meaningful. 

And with Christmas upon us, I keep thinking about how this joyful, deeply meaningful word - fecund - encapsulates the message of Christmas in the Judeo-Christian narrative. The story starts with an ever important announcement - the Angel Gabriel visiting the virgin Mary in Luke 1:26-38. The story is fantastical! An angel visiting a terrified, virgin woman, telling her she is to give birth to the son of God. Crazy! Right? But I say dismissing it as “crazy” is old news. How about we let ourselves play with it a little bit, give our imagination some room, and let the story be a parable of sorts, with room for metaphor. The concrete, literal message has a broader reach. A deeper meaning for our everyday lives, loaded with a crucial message for us.

When we let metaphor in, the story teaches us that, as women, (and humans), we are meant to give birth to love. Generative and creative and help meet the world’s needs. No matter our circumstances and when we think it’s impossible, we are called to be growthful, fruitful, and, in abundance, for the world’s sake. Fecund. And, if we remember the way love permeates Jesus’s message in the story as it continues - “For god so love the world, he gave his only son,” “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control. And the greatest of these is love,” “love the lord with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. And love your neighbor as yourself. These are the two greatest commandments.” 

This is the message of Christmas to me - that we are called to give birth to love and this love will heal us, forgive us, and ultimately, save us. I wrote a poem in this fecund spirit. Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all of you from MHT!


Love Has Come

The Angel Gabriel and Mary. 

The encounter. 


She, 

cowering in the corner, 

hiding in the darkness. 


The message. 


Love has been born, 

inside you. 

You are pregnant 

with love.


The floor is moving, 

the walls shaking, 

the house’s foundation 

put to test. 

Earthquake news. 

An identity crisis.


Love has come,

out of the darkness.

Out of the cold.

Through you. 


I know you didn't know, 

how hard it would be,

to love. To birth love. 

To steward love. 

Terror. Rage. Despair.

The hardest thing 

you’ve ever done. 

I know you're scared. 

I'm scared too. 

But just because 

you're scared, 

doesn't mean 

you can't do it. 

You can’t not. 


We can’t not. 

Where will we be 

If we don’t bear love? 

Lost.Alone.Dead.


The walking dead,

I tell you. Do you 

get what I'm saying?

Love has come, inside you.


We.are.the.mother.of.love.


Labor.Birth.Growth.

 

This is how healing takes place.

This is where our suffering

can be held. 

This is what we need 

to be human.


Love has come. 


HERE'S HOW YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN DRESSEMBER WITH US:

Give! Visit our Dressember page and make a donation. It's that simple and no sum is too small. Truly.

Follow! Be sure to follow us on Instagram and our blog throughout the month of December. We will be documenting our fierce fashion choices but our deepest intention is to empower and educate.

Share!  Help us spread the word. You can do this by sharing our social media posts or links to our Dressember fundraising campaign page.


Dr. Gabrielle Taylor serves as Clinical Director at Michelle Harwell Therapy and is a licensed Psychologist and Psychoanalyst in private practice in Pasadena, CA. She is also a member at New Center for Psychoanalysis where she serves on the Admissions Committee. She is Core Faculty at Wright Institute Los Angeles whee she supervises and teaches – her class The Poetry of Psychoanalysis: Contemporary Psychoanalytic Theory is favored among many of the students.

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