Blog — Michelle Harwell Therapy

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childhood

Home: Refuge

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Home: Refuge

This November, MHT is participating in the Miry’s List Friendsgiving Fundraising Drive. The money goes to programs that support refugee families that have been resettled in the United States. In tandem with these efforts, our clinicians are writing posts reflecting on what home means to them.

...home...is any place where I feel safe to experience all the different human emotions with other safe humans present - a refuge amidst change and uncertainty.
Sarah Butcher, LMFT.jpg

Eleven years ago, my childhood home burned down in a wildfire. I no longer lived there, but many of my memories did. There were the obvious losses like family photos that were irreplaceable--most of which were not digitized. However, other things that I missed took me by surprise: light blue bed sheets, a brown and red afghan, my doll house that I'd had since childhood, blue rimmed plates my parents received at their wedding, old yearbooks with signatures, and my collection of notes and cards. I miss all of our family's eclectic Christmas ornaments that had been gathered over many years and included a popcorn chain for the tree my parents made in the 80s (maybe we saved that one a little too long, but it held so many memories).

The year of the fire, I came back to my hometown for Christmas with some feelings of dread. Could my parents’ replacement rental feel like home? I needn’t have worried. I quickly realized it was the people who gathered there that made it home. My family, my friends, my neighbors, and my extended community all rallied round. Miraculously, no one lost their life in this particular wildfire, and being back, and seeing the damage made the danger of the fire more real to me. It also made me think about how much more we could have lost. It was people that mattered. And it was the kindness of people that helped my family get some of the basic material things they needed to get back on track in the short term.

It was with these people, my family and friends, that I took refuge. Refuge is the word I chose to describe my sense of home because it means being safe or sheltered, and home is a safe place for me - a place that can hold me during the many storms of life. There are familiar and sentimental material things in my home now that make it feel special, comfortable, and welcoming to me, and the actual structural component of a physical home is important for survival. However, I know the feeling of home is more than the material things. It is any place where I feel safe to experience all the different human emotions with other safe humans present - a refuge amidst change and uncertainty.


HERE'S HOW YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN FRIENDSGIVING WITH US:

Give! Visit our Miry’s List campaign page and make a donation. It's that simple and no sum is too small. Truly.

Follow! Be sure to follow us on Instagram and our blog throughout the month of November. We will be reflecting on what it means to be welcomed, received, and known.

Share!  Help us spread the word. You can do this by sharing our social media posts or links to our Miry’s List Friendsgiving Fundraiser page.

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A little about Miry’s List:
Refugee families come to the United States seeking a safe haven from violence and persecution in their home countries. They leave behind family and friends, as well as virtually everything they own. Many Americans, seeing these families in their communities, wonder: What can I do to help? Miry's List provides a mechanism for people to directly help new arrival refugee families with the things that they need to get started in their new lives – from diapers to beds to cleaning supplies and toiletries. To learn more, visit miryslist.org.


Sarah Butcher, LMFT, specializes in treating children, teens, new and postpartum parents, and young adults. Her work with children in developmental play therapy led to her certification as a DIR Intermediate Floortime provider.

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Home: Blue

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Home: Blue

This November, MHT is participating in the Miry’s List Friendsgiving Fundraising Drive. The money goes to programs that support refugee families that have been resettled in the United States. In tandem with these efforts, our clinicians are writing posts reflecting on what home means to them.

“Blue songs are like tattoos

You know I’ve been to sea before

Crown and anchor me

Or let me sail away.”

-       Joni Mitchell, “Blue”

 

Broghan Hedges, MSW.jpg

‘Home’ is a word of layers - a concept whose meaning lives in spatial, literal, metaphorical and feeling realities. Home can be a place, a sensation, a longing, even a relationship; most interestingly, home can coexist in all these planes of understanding without contradiction. In exploring the idea of home this season at MHT, I have chosen a word that, like home, contains multitudes.

Blue is Joni Mitchell’s fourth studio album, released in 1971. She wrote and sang every song on the record, including the song Blue, quoted above. This Blue-within-Blue was a melancholy swirl of rock-n-roll love, in line with the album’s theme of the excruciating lows and soaring highs of relationships. Joni Mitchell captures in yearning minutes-long fragments that which takes many of us years of devoted labor to bring to consciousness and communication. Blue is, to me, one layer of home; the sound of an aching heart, a woman full of love.

 Blue is my mother’s favorite color; it was the color of my childhood home; it the colloquial term for sadness, which I would prefer to understand as longing. Blue is the color of the wide sky and the shifting oceans. As a therapist, there is great appeal to me of something so small which can contain so much. Home can provide another kind of expansive containment, a sense of familiarity and belonging that can hold us when we need to be held and also let us wander freely without fear of losing our way back. Home is often one of those spaces that we are aware of only as we leave and return to it; home is perhaps more a sensation of change than it is a signal of constancy. I first experienced Joni Mitchell’s Blue after graduating college, alone in an empty apartment in a city far from where I grew up. Listening to her Blue felt like coming home.

Home is often one of those spaces that we are aware of only as we leave and return to it; home is perhaps more a sensation of change than it is a signal of constancy.

HERE'S HOW YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN FRIENDSGIVING WITH US:

Give! Visit our Miry’s List campaign page and make a donation. It's that simple and no sum is too small. Truly.

Follow! Be sure to follow us on Instagram and our blog throughout the month of November. We will be reflecting on what it means to be welcomed, received, and known.

Share!  Help us spread the word. You can do this by sharing our social media posts or links to our Miry’s List Friendsgiving Fundraiser page.

******

A little about Miry’s List:
Refugee families come to the United States seeking a safe haven from violence and persecution in their home countries. They leave behind family and friends, as well as virtually everything they own. Many Americans, seeing these families in their communities, wonder: What can I do to help? Miry's List provides a mechanism for people to directly help new arrival refugee families with the things that they need to get started in their new lives – from diapers to beds to cleaning supplies and toiletries. To learn more, visit miryslist.org.


Broghan Hedges, MSW, is an Associate Clinical Social Worker ASW #90498, working under the professional supervision of Michelle Harwell, PsyD, LMFT 50732. She is passionate about helping the parent-child relationship flourish and has extensive experience serving families impacted by autism, adoption, and substance abuse.

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The Delights of Nature

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The Delights of Nature

the delights of nature.png

How delightful are these ornamental corn cobs? If you could pick one up and hold it in your hands, you’d get to feel the texture of the bumpy kernels, smooth and knobbly, you’d notice how glossy and bright each kernel appears, and if you looked closer, you’d see the amazing depth of color trapped beneath the surface of each membrane, the hues of red, purple, and blue. Each kernel is like a rare gem - a cob like a chest of rubies and sapphires!

As an adult I don’t take the time to soak in the details of nature like this very often. My delight in these corn cobs (and the imaginative lens to see them as gems) is a remnant from my childhood. When I was about 9 to 12, I used to become completely absorbed in studying the five or so ornamental corn cobs my mom would set out as part of the fall decor every year. I remember feeling a sense of wonder studying these corn cobs, amazed at how beautiful a vegetable could be! (Ha!)

Maria Montessori, whose philosophy of education is popular today, was a careful observer of children and how they learn, especially in nature. She noticed that when children are given time to freely explore the natural world, they often become instinctive students, natural scientists, absorbed in the details of grass, bugs, rocks and so on. And beyond showing impressive attention and observational skills, she noticed the emotional effect that this kind of time out in nature tended to have on them as well - the way they seemed to grow more fulfilled, happy, and serene.  

I think it’s fair to say it can have a similar effect on us as adults, too! This fall, whether its with your kids or your own inner kid - I hope you’ll make it outside to enjoy the sights, smells, and textures of nature.


Allison (Allie) Ramsey is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Therapist. Allie works with individuals on a broad range of issues, including anxiety, depression, relational challenges, faith integration, divorce, and aging. 

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Kids Get Real About Joy

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Kids Get Real About Joy

Joy from the Perspective of 4-Year-Old, Part 1
Joy from the Perspective a 4-Year-Old, Part 2
Self-portrait, Rosie, Age 4

Self-portrait, Rosie, Age 4

Snippets from the interview:

Q: When You think of Joy, What's the First Thing that Pops in Your Head?

A: Joyful music and dancing. Those are the things....

 

Q: What does joy look like?

A: Beautiful blue sky. Beautiful with jewels in it.

 

Q: What happens in your body when you feel joy?

A: It wiggles around. 

 

Q: If joy were a color, what WOULD it be?

A: It would be whole rainbow.

 

Q: What’s the opposite of joy?

A: Um…I don’t know.


Joy from the Perspective of a 5 1/2-Year-Old
Self-portrait, Lucy, Age 5 1/2

Self-portrait, Lucy, Age 5 1/2

Snippets from the interview:

Q: When you think of joy, what's the first thing that pops into your head?

A: Rainbow. 

 

Q: What does joy look like?

A: Love.

 

Q: If joy were a color, what Would it Be?

A: Seagreen.

 

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