Radical Humility

“Humility can play a role both in intimate alliances as well as serving as fortitude for those who participate in activism more publicly.”

As the call for racial justice takes hold of our nation, I feel the gravity of what is needed of me and I’m noticing that I continuously need to ground myself in a stance of humility to stay engaged in meaningful ways.  I think humility can be a valuable friend to white people and others who are trying to ‘do the work’ right now. Humility when taking risks to call someone into a deeper understanding and commitment, humility with oneself when feeling inadequate or insufficient, and humility when entering unfamiliar spaces and conversations with those who live and breathe the unrelenting work of racial justice. Humility can play a role both in intimate alliances as well as serving as fortitude for those who participate in activism more publicly. A stance of humility helps to maintain curiosity and radical non-defensiveness such that we can listen deeply to what is needed with enough left in the tank to move to action as well.

This is a stance familiar to many therapists, though challenging indeed.  As much as therapy offers ways of understanding self and other, it can just as easily harm the other without the active examination of implicit biases and racist indoctrinations on the part of the therapist. Conversations about race can evoke anxiety to the point where people can easily become defensive, shutdown, or avoid the topic all together.  I have heard some therapists rather cheekily suggest a slight dissociation can be useful when in an anxiety provoking conversation to make space for justifiable anger, rage, sadness, or other feelings that may be unbearable or unimaginable.  I might also suggest that leaning heavily into humility and letting go of the need to be knowledgeable, good, helpful, seen as expert or right can also be a protective factor against the internal emotional blows, often known as guilt and shame, that can ultimately be roadblocks to listening deeply. 

Recently, I participated in a listening exercise related to hearing some of the demands of the Black Lives Matter movement and I was struck by just how much my ability to listen can get clouded by my own self-judgement and anxiety about my capacity. Sometimes it is helpful to be aware of one’s own internal dialogue and feelings, and then sharing them can strengthen relationships depending on the level of intimacy already established. However, when attempting to be an effective steward of anti-racist activism, I find that being able to shelve those inner thoughts for examination later is key for listening more actively in the moment. This means humbly letting go of the importance of one’s own perspective and potential embarrassment at times to ask questions and understand what is being asked of you.

“The mental health field also has a long way to go toward detangling its roots in white supremacy and making the structural changes needed such that cultural competency truly percolates to the standard of care...”

There is so much to learn about where we have been as a country, as a people, and I know that given how deep the history is, it will take sustainable and enduring approaches to create real change over time.  We may be humbled by our limitations, but we must be careful not to let humility be a resting place for passivity, rather a place to recharge and know that we can survive our own inadequacy, and keep moving into the discomfort and tragedy of the work that needs to be done.

I know that I have a long way to go in terms of reckoning with my own privilege and with the white supremacist systems that I benefit from and operate within. This will be a lifetime of dismantling and fighting, and I hope to maintain humility along the way. If you are also on this journey and wanting to know more about organizations who are leading the way in inclusive and socially just psychotherapy, please consult the list of resource links below. The mental health field also has a long way to go toward detangling its roots in white supremacy and making the structural changes needed such that cultural competency truly percolates to the standard of care, and I hope that our field can embrace a stance of humility necessary to advance further.

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Therapy & Mental Health Organizations:

• The Loveland Foundation: https://thelovelandfoundation.org/

• Therapy for Black Girls: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/

• Inclusive Therapists: https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/

• BEAM (Black Emotional and Mental Health Community): https://www.beam.community/

Social Justice Organizations:

• Advancement Project: https://www.advancementprojectca.org/

• Embrace LA: https://www.embracela.org/

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Erika Mitchell, MA, is a Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #109385, working under the professional supervision of Michelle Harwell, PsyD, LMFT 50732. Erika specializes in helping her clients bring mindful, attuned awareness to their sensations and emotions.

Home: Family

This November, MHT is participating in the Miry’s List Friendsgiving Fundraising Drive. The money goes to programs that support refugee families that have been resettled in the United States. In tandem with these efforts, our clinicians are writing posts reflecting on what home means to them.

“Home is where you find your heart, over and over again. Maybe in new ways, maybe in familiar ways, maybe in challenging ways…”

“Family” came to me most strongly as I first associated to the word “Home.” Recently, several family members and friends were evacuated from fires in the middle of the night in Los Angeles. Experiences like these have a way of heightening our senses and awareness and bringing crystal clarity to what we value, what we cherish, and what is most important.

Family has become the people in my life that I love, that support me, and who I support - the people that surround me; made up of blood relatives, friends, colleagues, and sometimes even an unexpected stranger where one of us meets the other and there’s a need or maybe a shared meaningful experience or a joy.

“Home is where the heart is” as the saying goes…I had a strong sense of home as a young child – very strong in fact. And for me home meant the physical home I lived in, my parents, my close neighbors, teacher, a few very close friends, school and our kitty furball at home.

Over time there were some big changes and my sense of home had to be expanded to new places, new people and other new loves. As much as I loved my first home, and wow, did I love it there!  – the grass outside, the canyon with the blackberries, the sunshine, and sunken living room with the music playing…it needed the people, the community, and the belonging within context to really locate me as HOME.

It was again clear more than ever that home is where you find your heart, over and over again. Maybe in new ways, maybe in familiar ways, maybe in challenging ways…

I am blessed to have a location to reside – a place I can go that is safe to live and to call home. I have a container for the experiences of my life in my dwelling, and in the dwellings of those I call family. And these places root me and provide memories that root me as well, in the neighborhoods, the stores, the familiar sights, sounds, smells of the blooms as they come and go, the rain, and, of course, food - the associations I have learned though the day to day, week to week, year to year living.

Miry’s List has a specialness in its mission in that it looks at home in all the ways we as humans need to feel we are safe - to feel like we have a sense of belonging; located in space and time with people that care and that we care for as well. Miry’s List goes beyond the obvious to what we all know constitutes real home. HOME is where the heart is…and our heart is housed in a body in space and time with an intricate working system to support it, keeping it pumping happily, resiliently, and strongly.

“Miry’s List has a specialness in its mission in that it looks at home in all the ways we as humans need to feel we are safe - to feel like we have a sense of belonging; located in space and time with people that care and that we care for as well.”

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HERE'S HOW YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN FRIENDSGIVING WITH US:

Give! Visit our Miry’s List campaign page and make a donation. It's that simple and no sum is too small. Truly.

Follow! Be sure to follow us on Instagram and our blog throughout the month of November. We will be reflecting on what it means to be welcomed, received, and known.

Share!  Help us spread the word. You can do this by sharing our social media posts or links to our Miry’s List Friendsgiving Fundraiser page.

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A little about Miry’s List:
Refugee families come to the United States seeking a safe haven from violence and persecution in their home countries. They leave behind family and friends, as well as virtually everything they own. Many Americans, seeing these families in their communities, wonder: What can I do to help? Miry's List provides a mechanism for people to directly help new arrival refugee families with the things that they need to get started in their new lives – from diapers to beds to cleaning supplies and toiletries. To learn more, visit miryslist.org.

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Michelle Levy, PhD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Dr. Levy’s clinical interests focus on parenting practices, attachment, child mental health and developmental concerns as well as the effects of trauma on youth, families and communities. 

Home: A Place to Dwell

This November, MHT is participating in the Miry’s List Friendsgiving Fundraising Drive. The money goes to programs that support refugee families that have been resettled in the United States. In tandem with these efforts, our clinicians are writing posts reflecting on what home means to them.

As children, I think we take for granted that a home is gifted to us. It’s made for us through the routines, the four walls that surround and the emotional rhythms that build a sense of familiarity and holding. As we grow, that sense of belonging to a place and a people translates to a more robust internal belonging and holding that allows us to venture further and further out into the world...but this is tricky because the world is not a stable place. It’s ever-changing and so are we. At moments, that is utterly terrifying — and also wild and wonderful, if we can tolerate it. As Heraclitus says, “No (wo)man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and (s)he's not the same (wo)man.”

So in the midst of such constant change, how do we still find a way to be in the world, to build a home under ever-changing conditions? I think the answer is found not in the concept of home per se but what a home provides us, which is a place of dwelling. To dwell is to linger, to safely be. In adult life we have to work at it, with intentionality, to find places, people, and practices that helps us make contact with our beingness. I identify these connections and spaces in the form of an exhale. When I truly breathe out, I know I’ve found a piece of home and a place to dwell.

“...how do we still find a way to be in the world, to build a home under ever-changing conditions? I think the answer is found not in the concept of home per se but what a home provides us, which is a place of dwelling. ”

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HERE'S HOW YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN FRIENDSGIVING WITH US:

Give! Visit our Miry’s List campaign page and make a donation. It's that simple and no sum is too small. Truly.

Follow! Be sure to follow us on Instagram and our blog throughout the month of November. We will be reflecting on what it means to be welcomed, received, and known.

Share!  Help us spread the word. You can do this by sharing our social media posts or links to our Miry’s List Friendsgiving Fundraiser page.

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A little about Miry’s List:
Refugee families come to the United States seeking a safe haven from violence and persecution in their home countries. They leave behind family and friends, as well as virtually everything they own. Many Americans, seeing these families in their communities, wonder: What can I do to help? Miry's List provides a mechanism for people to directly help new arrival refugee families with the things that they need to get started in their new lives – from diapers to beds to cleaning supplies and toiletries. To learn more, visit miryslist.org.

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Michelle Harwell, PsyD, LMFT is an expert trainer, respected speaker, and licensed therapist in trauma and attachment. She is noted for her specialization in areas of development, attachment, trauma, and neuroscience, and her ability to communicate complex topics with clarity and humor. 

Home: Your Place in the Family of Things

This November, MHT is participating in the Miry’s List Friendsgiving Fundraising Drive. The money goes to programs that support refugee families that have been resettled in the United States. In tandem with these efforts, our clinicians are writing posts reflecting on what home means to them.

“...that is so much of what therapy is about—creating a home. ”

“Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.”

-       Mary Oliver, excerpt from the poem “Wild Geese”

When I think of the word home, I think first of a feeling…the feeling of a warm, summer night.

Home is sense of belonging, a sense of returning, of being found, of having a place—a place that waits just for you. That welcomes and loves you. Not so much a physical place but an emotional place. A place that can hold you, no matter what form you may arrive in. That remembers you, no matter how long you have been gone. That is the first thing I think of when I think of home.

And then, right after, I think of how often in the human experience we do not feel that. How often we feel the opposite of that—a lostness, a feeling of being strange to our self or to another, a homelessness. A longing for that feeling of coming home in the moments when it feels unreachable. To me, that is so much of what therapy is about—creating a home. A person, a place, an hour of the week, that is just yours. That holds and remembers you even when you feel strange and unfamiliar to yourself. That knows and welcomes you. And about how, over time, that sense of home becomes internalized—becomes not only a place that you go to with yourself and another in your hour each week, but a place inside yourself. What a lovely thing that is to build with another human. 

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HERE'S HOW YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN FRIENDSGIVING WITH US:

Give! Visit our Miry’s List campaign page and make a donation. It's that simple and no sum is too small. Truly.

Follow! Be sure to follow us on Instagram and our blog throughout the month of November. We will be reflecting on what it means to be welcomed, received, and known.

Share!  Help us spread the word. You can do this by sharing our social media posts or links to our Miry’s List Friendsgiving Fundraiser page.

******

A little about Miry’s List:
Refugee families come to the United States seeking a safe haven from violence and persecution in their home countries. They leave behind family and friends, as well as virtually everything they own. Many Americans, seeing these families in their communities, wonder: What can I do to help? Miry's List provides a mechanism for people to directly help new arrival refugee families with the things that they need to get started in their new lives – from diapers to beds to cleaning supplies and toiletries. To learn more, visit miryslist.org.

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Chelsea Small, MSW, is an Associate Clinical Social Worker, ASW #78503 working under the supervision of Saralyn Masselink, LCSW # 28617. Chelsea believes in the wisdom of the therapeutic relationship to ignite transformative growth. She has extensive experience working with people impacted by trauma, domestic violence, and the effects of emotional dysregulation.

Spirituality as Process

Maybe you, like me, sometimes wonder what spirituality really consists of. How can anyone really understand or know this realm of reality that transcends, but is inseparably involved with, the material? My thought is it’s not quite knowable. Or maybe better put, it’s not ‘master-able’ by our methods of knowing. It’s the kind of thing that can’t be all-the-way understood or written about comprehensively in a textbook.

And yet, there is something concrete about spirituality -- that is, it seems that a full-hearted seeking after spiritual life, truth, and goodness does bring about significant change over time. Sometimes in quiet ways inside of individuals and sometimes in powerful and surging ways that had seemed impossible.

My own life has felt rather upended by my spiritual experiences at certain times. To be honest, that is probably what I most want -- and simultaneously am most afraid will happen. There are also times my spiritual life has felt dry, so dry it’s made me think, “What if this is a desert, and all those memories of abundant, vibrant liveliness were only ever mirages?”

“Maybe you, like me, sometimes wonder what spirituality really consists of.
...My thought is: it’s not quite knowable.”

Lately I’ve been considering a new thing, for me, regarding spirituality. And that is the importance of “process over content.” (We talk about this quite a bit in therapy training. It’s a foundational goal of therapists to learn to pay attention to the pattern of things that are playing out, rather than attending only to those things that are explicitly named or spoken about in the moment). 

Applying this to my own Christian spirituality has meant learning to pay attention not only to the words of Jesus on the topic of spirituality, but also to his process -- the overall pattern of life he lived out as an example of cultivating a spiritual life. His times of solitude, service, prayer, fasting, and teaching are all different parts of the important picture of his spiritual process. As I’ve reflected on this, I have been challenged to be honest with myself about my own spiritual “process.”  What are my patterns of action and inaction? What do my actions show my spirituality is really about? To put it to a sciency metaphor that appeals to me: What’s the “center of mass” of my way of living? The answers to these kinds of questions left me feeling discontent and hungry for more in my life. That turned out to be a transformative place to start.

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Allison (Allie) Ramsey is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Therapist who works with individuals on a broad range of issues, including anxiety, depression, relational challenges, faith integration, divorce, and aging. 

On Failing and Making Awesome Happen: An Interview with Jessica Rosen, Owner of One Down Dog

Jessica Rosen

Lauren Ziel: Thank you, first and foremost, for agreeing to chit-chat. I think Michelle and I had you in mind because it’s the new year — beginning of 2019 — and really thick with rebirth, change, growth and resolutions. Even though that’s exciting; such a positive spin - I think sometimes we can overlook the hard, non-linear path towards success and how usually that road is paved in failure. With Michelle and I both knowing you and your success in growing your business One Down Dog - from an outsider perspective, you’re f*&#in rocking it. And yet, we also know that you have worked your ass off and there’s been struggle and failure in the process— and you’ve been so open and honest with that. So, we thought you’d be a really good person to comment on what it means to fail and why that can be a great and integral thing in the process of becoming successful. So, again, thank you. 

Jessica Rosen: Thank you!

LZ: So, we wanted to know in the context of your business [running multiple yoga studios] and in how you’ve grown over the years, what would you say is your greatest failure?

“I’m trying to really show up for myself.”

JR: Oh man, there are so many little ones. It’s hard to think of the biggest one. Okay…so, I think my biggest failure…maybe failure isn’t the right word…but we’ll go this one: it has been in my own ability to get shit done. Which, I know like you said, from the outside everything looks amazing, but I have a tendency to put things off, to get really overwhelmed and bogged down by the details and by the minutiae, by my email inbox, and in little things that take away from my bigger picture. I have this tendency to spin in circles and then at the end of every single day say, “I didn’t get anything done today.” 

What I’ve realized in the last few month is…I set myself up for failure in that way. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I say “I can’t get anything done.” And, therefore, I don’t get anything done. So, I’m trying to really show up for myself. I don’t really know if failure is the right word for all of this. But it feels like a failure when I go home and feel that sense of self-defeat. I’m shifting that, and I’m working hard on chunking things and giving myself projects. Because that feels more successful when I take things in chunks instead of trying to do everything all at one time. 

LZ: Yeah, we might want to play with that — can we reframe failure with a different word? But what I’m hearing in your process is that you’re coming home at the end of the day with a certain sense. And because of that sense and wanting to change, then you’re pivoting and finding a different way to attack something. It’s almost like you have to learn from the failure…you have to get to the point of feeling this certain way in order for that to be the impetus for you to innovate, pivot, change direction, scrap, go, etc. I think that is maybe what we’re getting at — the failures are these small or big chances…opportunities…to really hone in on what’s important and what will lead to either a growth or a success or something of that nature. How do you think failure has been a part of One Down Dog’s success?

JR: It’s a big part. It’s a constant learning of “Okay, I tried that. Okay, that didn’t work. Let’s try this..” In figuring out our hiring process. In our on-boarding process. In negotiating lease agreements. With our schedule. Trying a class and then it not doing well. And then having to figure out the right time for it or the right teacher with the right class type. It’s a constant evolution. Without those moments of things not working or “failing,” there’s no way we could have gotten to where we’re at today. I started in a temporary shared space and somehow now there’s three locations with two yoga rooms in each of them. That whole process was a series of throwing a ton of spaghetti at a wall and seeing what sticks. 

LZ: You’re doing the Make Awesome Happen workshop. Is failure woven into that? 

JR: Yes, absolutely. The biggest thing that I’ve noticed in my own life and I’ve seen it in others’ lives that stops us from making awesome happen, whether that’s making our biggest, wildest dreams come true or with the smaller stuff like personal interactions in our head….a big piece is our own negative self-talk, self-doubt, and our fear of failing. The fear of doing it wrong. The fear of it not working. And then like I mentioned before…this self-fulfilling prophecy where I’ll think that something isn’t gonna work or that I’m not getting shit done…whatever the case….and then it will be. Because I set myself up for it. That’s a big part of what I talk about in the workshop. How do we overcome those fears of failure? How can we reframe what failure is in our lives? Because ultimately, as corny as it is, failures are lessons and opportunities for growth. Every time something doesn’t work, it’s guiding us in the direction of what’s going to…if there’s a willingness to look at it and allow space for it. It can very easily turn into “Well, that didn’t work and that proves my point. Therefore, it’s never gonna happen.” Or it can be, “Well, that didn’t work but I learned something so wonderful from that experience and now there’s potential for something else” - which is amazing.

“Without those moments of things not working or “failing,” there’s no way we could have gotten to where we’re at today.”

LZ: Yeah. So, rather than foreclosing and shutting down. It’s the door closing and the window opening metaphor. 

JR: Yes, exactly.

 LZ: You’re the OG bosslady. One person can facilitate a culture in an organization of celebrating failure or in the very least saying that it’s okay. How do you think you have fostered that at One Down Dog?

JR: My initial response is that I could a lot better in fostering that. As I mentioned earlier, I have a tendency to be really hard on myself, and I’m certain that bleeds into the rest of my company to a certain extent. There’s a level of ask for forgiveness, not permission. And an understanding that just because something didn’t work the way we expected that doesn’t mean we throw it out. We’ve had events where we thought “Oh, this is going to be amazing and we’re going to have so many people show up” and then there will be two people who attend. I don’t want to just throw it away because there’s a reason why we thought it was going to be amazing. So, how do we do a sort of SWOT analysis? For those that don’t know, SWOT stands for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and…what does the “T” stand for?** (We’ll find out…). Anyway, so, we’ll look at: where are the opportunities in this experience? How can we reframe, re-shift, regroup, and keep the momentum going? Because a good idea is something to cherish and hold onto. It’s like clay. You gotta re-work it a little.

LZ: A good idea in one scenario won’t be the greatest idea in the next. Yeah, and you gotta mold and shape it as it goes. I like that metaphor. That’s a nice metaphor as we close. Thank you, Jess. I really appreciate your time. Yes, we will figure out the “T”!

JR: Yeah, I’m sure I’ll remember as soon as we hang up. 

LZ: Thank you very much. 

JS: Thank you!

**Note: The “T” in SWOT Analysis stands for “Threats.”

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Jessica Rosen is a yoga teacher and an entrepreneur. She is the owner of One Down Dog (ODD), a community of three yoga studios in Northeast Los Angeles. Check out this post on ODD’s Blog for more about this awesome woman.

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Lauren Ziel, MSW is a Registered Associate Clinical Social Worker, ASW #76483, working under the supervision of Gabrielle Taylor, PhD. Through the use of movement and mindfulness, Lauren develops specialized treatment for anxiety, depression, eating disorders, challenges in life-stage transitions, relational difficulties, and identity/intrapersonal development.

Women are NOT Property

Photo by Even Keel Imagery - Miriam Brummel

I’ve recently found myself privy to one too many conversations where women are spoken of in ways that objectify, minimize, and commercialize their womanhood. Sometimes it’s subtle. And other times I’m left dumbfounded at the blatant and aggressive misogyny that motivates such rhetoric and/or behavior.

I know womanhood and gender politics can be complicated, but let’s make one thing simple and clear: WE ARE NOT PROPERTY.

Being a woman means having pride and acceptance for who you are (even if that changes day to day). For so long I wanted to fit into what society told me was feminine. I wanted to be slender, beautiful, giving, and like-able. These acculturated gender stereotypes dominated my conception and expression of self.

After much work and self-exploration, I’ve redefined MY understanding of femininity – it means I have physical and mental fortitude. It means my body can be athletic and strong. I can shave my legs because I love the way my calves feel sans hair and not because some commercial tells me to. It demands that I admit my vulnerabilities and/or shortcomings without letting them define me. It means showing up for myself and my fellow women by accepting others exactly where they are in their journey.

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HERE'S HOW YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN DRESSEMBER WITH US:

Give! Visit our Dressember page and make a donation. It's that simple and no sum is too small. Truly.

Follow! Be sure to follow us on Instagram and our blog throughout the month of December. We will be documenting our fierce fashion choices but our deepest intention is to empower and educate.

Share!  Help us spread the word. You can do this by sharing our social media posts or links to our Dressember fundraising campaign page.

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Lauren Ziel, MSW is a Registered Associate Clinical Social Worker, ASW #76483, working under the supervision of Gabrielle Taylor, PhD. Through the use of movement and mindfulness, Lauren develops specialized treatment for anxiety, depression, eating disorders, challenges in life-stage transitions, relational difficulties, and identity/intrapersonal development.

Women are Bold

“All humans are capable of bold acts, but being a woman requires it daily.  ”

Photo by Even Keel Imagery - Miriam Brummel

Being a woman means many different things to the wide-world of self-identifying women. For me, being a woman takes a certain amount of boldness to be oneself and to honor the unique value of our more feminine traits, even in the face of misogyny and patriarchal structures. Bold may not be a word that readily comes to mind for some people when they think about women, especially considering that historically women have been considered more submissive, polite, and accommodating. However, inherent in being bold is a courage to take risks and be seen.

Without getting too political, I must say that bold was a word that came to mind after listening to the Kavanaugh hearing as I considered the enormous risk that Christine Blasey Ford was taking to have her voice heard. As a therapist and someone who has made a career of listening to people’s stories, I was particularly struck by the bold conviction she had to be heard and to voice injustices against women that can be all too cavalier. To speak of justice at the hearing of a supreme court justice nominee was a bold decision. Despite facing public ridicule and overwhelming threats on the safety of her and her family, she boldly went forward in a room full of predominantly high-powered men and spoke her truth.    

This act of boldness reminded me of the everyday struggle for women to be heard, to be accepted as ‘credible,’ and to be themselves in a societal structure designed to make them fight for their rights time and time again. The risks we take every day even in deciding what to wear in a world that has been known to blame survivors of sexual assault based on their personal expression of style, takes an inborn boldness to carry on and demand that we be treated fairly.  All humans are capable of bold acts, but being a woman requires it daily.  

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HERE'S HOW YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN DRESSEMBER WITH US:

Give! Visit our Dressember page and make a donation. It's that simple and no sum is too small. Truly.

Follow! Be sure to follow us on Instagram and our blog throughout the month of December. We will be documenting our fierce fashion choices but our deepest intention is to empower and educate.

Share!  Help us spread the word. You can do this by sharing our social media posts or links to our Dressember fundraising campaign page.

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Erika Mitchell, MA, is a Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #109385, working under the professional supervision of Michelle Harwell, PsyD, LMFT 50732. Erika specializes in helping her clients bring mindful, attuned awareness to their sensations and emotions.

Womyn are Badass

“I am not just a woman, I am a black woman.”

Photo by Even Keel Imagery - Miriam Brummel

Some people might find this weird, but humor is one of my core values. Infusing humor into my work and my life is very important to me. My line of work requires that I hold space for many emotions and behaviors. I have found that humor is a good container; not to replace the discomfort, but rather to counteract it. I chose this phrase Womyn are too badass for this shirt to generate laughter. However, this phrase also depicts how I view women. We are not the fairer sex. We are not bossy. WE. ARE. BADASS. Women are strong. We get the job done; pregnant, on their period, or otherwise. Women knock down barriers. We will not be gaslighted. We will not be minimized. We are TOO badass for that.

I am not just a woman, I am a black woman. Walking through this world as a black women can be...challenging. The glass ceiling reaches astronomical heights. The wage gap is a grand canyon. The microaggressions are deafening. It made me angry, and sometimes it felt as though the anger would drive me mad. But then I remembered all of the women who paved the way for me. Maya Angelou was the first African-American women to have a screenplay produced. Misty Copeland was the first African-American to be appointed as a principal dancer for the American Ballet Theater. Oprah Winfrey was the first African-American women to host a nationally syndicated daily talk show. More recently, Simone Biles was the first black woman to win five top gymnastic titles. Rather than focusing on anger, these women channeled it towards the advancement of themselves and other women like them. I am not angry anymore; I am passionate and hopeful. To be a black woman is to constantly fight for advancement, not just for yourself but for women of all ethnicities and cultures. Being a woman is to know that yes, we are ALL women, AND that we are all different. I am grateful for the continued allyship of inclusive women who are able to celebrate that fact. It's an exciting time to be a women, just wait and see what we have planned...

“We are not the fairer sex. We are not bossy. WE. ARE. BADASS. Women are strong. We get the job done; pregnant, on their period, or otherwise. Women knock down barriers. We will not be gaslighted. We will not be minimized. We are TOO badass for that. ”

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HERE'S HOW YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN DRESSEMBER WITH US:

Give! Visit our Dressember page and make a donation. It's that simple and no sum is too small. Truly.

Follow! Be sure to follow us on Instagram and our blog throughout the month of December. We will be documenting our fierce fashion choices but our deepest intention is to empower and educate.

Share!  Help us spread the word. You can do this by sharing our social media posts or links to our Dressember fundraising campaign page.

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Cherelle Solomon, MSW, is an Associate Clinical Social Worker, ASW #74940, working under the professional supervision of Gabrielle Taylor, PhD. Cherelle utilizes a psychodynamic approach in her practice with children and families.

The Delights of Nature

How delightful are these ornamental corn cobs? If you could pick one up and hold it in your hands, you’d get to feel the texture of the bumpy kernels, smooth and knobbly, you’d notice how glossy and bright each kernel appears, and if you looked closer, you’d see the amazing depth of color trapped beneath the surface of each membrane, the hues of red, purple, and blue. Each kernel is like a rare gem - a cob like a chest of rubies and sapphires!

As an adult I don’t take the time to soak in the details of nature like this very often. My delight in these corn cobs (and the imaginative lens to see them as gems) is a remnant from my childhood. When I was about 9 to 12, I used to become completely absorbed in studying the five or so ornamental corn cobs my mom would set out as part of the fall decor every year. I remember feeling a sense of wonder studying these corn cobs, amazed at how beautiful a vegetable could be! (Ha!)

Maria Montessori, whose philosophy of education is popular today, was a careful observer of children and how they learn, especially in nature. She noticed that when children are given time to freely explore the natural world, they often become instinctive students, natural scientists, absorbed in the details of grass, bugs, rocks and so on. And beyond showing impressive attention and observational skills, she noticed the emotional effect that this kind of time out in nature tended to have on them as well - the way they seemed to grow more fulfilled, happy, and serene.  

I think it’s fair to say it can have a similar effect on us as adults, too! This fall, whether its with your kids or your own inner kid - I hope you’ll make it outside to enjoy the sights, smells, and textures of nature.

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Allison (Allie) Ramsey is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Therapist. Allie works with individuals on a broad range of issues, including anxiety, depression, relational challenges, faith integration, divorce, and aging.