This November, MHT is participating in the Miry’s List Friendsgiving Fundraising Drive. The money goes to programs that support refugee families that have been resettled in the United States. In tandem with these efforts, our clinicians are writing posts reflecting on what home means to them.
“To me home is the place where you can be you with all your rough edges. Where you can have all your feelings, in their full and sometimes painful glory. Where people will manage the dance of needs, theirs and yours, with some compassion and grace.”
In her novel, The Mill on the Floss, George Eliot paints a portrait of the kind of attachment we build to the place we call home, especially the first place that holds that sense for us. The main character, Maggie, cannot bring herself to leave her home to make a new start somewhere, even when her reputation becomes unjustly tarnished and she becomes an outcast. Eliot’s portrayal of the strength of Maggie’s connection to the place she knows as home has a visceral resonance for me. I know that feeling. I’ve felt that way about a place, and I’ve had to move on and start over somewhere new. Many of us know what it’s like to leave our home and in some way lose it forever.
No one knows this better than immigrants, refugees and asylum seekers. When we talk about immigration policy, I feel that we’ve lost touch with the heart of the matter – the reality of human beings who have had to leave the place and the people that were home for them – often due to hardships and traumas that we in this country can scarcely imagine. I think we lose sight of the fact that people do not come seeking to build a new life here because the grass was greener but because there was no grass to be had where they were. I’m thrilled to be part of MHT’s support drive for Miry’s List, where the funds we raise will directly benefit immigrants who are establishing a new life here in LA. Even for those of us with more resources, starting over in a new place is not easy. We need a community to come around us and welcome us in.
Perhaps in many ways, we are all looking for home, trying to build a place where we feel a sense of belonging and welcome. I think of the home I’m trying to create for my little people. The jar in the photo is actually full of glitter. It’s a homemade sensory tool for helping kids deal with strong emotion. They think they’re getting a bit big for it, but sometimes when I’m really upset I go grab one, shake it up, and enjoy losing myself in swirling glints of color. The blue one is the one I made myself. To me home is the place where you can be you with all your rough edges. Where you can have all your feelings, in their full and sometimes painful glory. Where people will manage the dance of needs, theirs and yours, with some compassion and grace. And a good dose of affectionate humor. Where people will stay when things get hard, no matter what. Where relationship can bend, twist, yank or pull and not break. That’s what the glitter jar means to me. It means, “You are welcome here. We got this.”
By the way, if you want to make one, here’s a link: https://preschoolinspirations.com/6-ways-to-make-a-calm-down-jar/
HERE'S HOW YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN FRIENDSGIVING WITH US:
Give! Visit our Miry’s List campaign page and make a donation. It's that simple and no sum is too small. Truly.
Follow! Be sure to follow us on Instagram and our blog throughout the month of November. We will be reflecting on what it means to be welcomed, received, and known.
Share! Help us spread the word. You can do this by sharing our social media posts or links to our Miry’s List Friendsgiving Fundraiser page.
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A little about Miry’s List:
Refugee families come to the United States seeking a safe haven from violence and persecution in their home countries. They leave behind family and friends, as well as virtually everything they own. Many Americans, seeing these families in their communities, wonder: What can I do to help? Miry's List provides a mechanism for people to directly help new arrival refugee families with the things that they need to get started in their new lives – from diapers to beds to cleaning supplies and toiletries. To learn more, visit miryslist.org.
Monica Green, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist (PSY 27391) specializing in depression, anxiety, trauma, relationship issues and psychological aspects of chronic health conditions.